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Display Name: pizza
About me: Pizza is a faceless reviewer of books who haunts the library website from time to time. In his/her free time - nevermind. He/she has no free time.
Reading Interests: Pepperoni, cheese, extra black olives, and sometimes pineapple.

pizza's Book Lists
Retold! (28 titles)
Who doesn't love fairytales? They're good as they are and they're good retold. So enjoy this list!
Writing (16 titles)
For those aspiring writers who want to improve their craft.
Good Fiction (44 titles)
This is very much like 'Good Fantasy' except that it's fiction. Not fantasy.
Good Fantasy (104 titles)
As the title so neatly states: this is darned good fantasy!

pizza's Comments    
Cover ArtBeauty queens
by Bray, Libba.
  posted Jul 17, 2011 at 2:17PM

Cover ArtBeauty queens
by Bray, Libba.
This book was: A) like watching a late night TV parody of a book I have never read, where the audience is laughing their heads off, and I have the vague feeling that I should be laughing too, but I just. Don’t. Get. It. B) like being beat over the head again and again and again by a sign that says   posted Jul 17, 2011 at 2:15PM

Cover ArtThe sweetness at the bottom of the pie
by Bradley, C. Alan
hahahaha, this was totally MY kind of book. I think, at heart, I am a seclusive, slightly annoying, poison-obsessed eleven-year-old girl. Oh, yeah, and the book’s writing style was brilliant. That was nice too.   posted Apr 30, 2011 at 4:07PM

Cover ArtAvatar, the last airbender. Book 3, Fire. Volume 4 [videorecording]
by Viacom International.
I’ve spend my entire life with an unhealthy fascination of fire. This book (or season, I suppose you could call it...) let me feel that I am not alone. There are other pyromaniacs in the world who (literally*) dream of being able to shoot fire from their fingertips. Not to mention look totally awesome while doing it. *I actually do dream (yes, as in asleep, unconscious, in my bed with my fluffy squishy pillow) of blasting fire and wreaking havoc. Should I be worried?   posted Apr 30, 2011 at 9:52AM

Cover ArtAvatar, the last airbender. Book 2, Earth, Volume 3 [videorecording]
by Nickelodeon (Firm)
This is the best thing since Book I, Water came out. It may sound impossible, but this series only gets better. If there were a voting system, I would totally spam the page and vote from a zillion different computers to make sure that this won the best rated award. And let me tell you, there are few series that I would do that for.   posted Apr 30, 2011 at 9:45AM

Cover ArtAvatar, the last airbender. Book 1, Water. Volume 1 [videorecording].
by Nickelodeon (Television network)
Can I say this is the best thing since bread was sliced? Since someone put the pimento in the olive? Since riding lawnmowers were invented? Brilliance, I tell you. Sheer mind bending* (hahahahaha) brilliance. *A pun worthy of Sokka, I tell you. This series is rubbing off on me in the worst (scratch that - the BEST) possible way.   posted Apr 30, 2011 at 9:42AM

Cover ArtThe hero of ages
by Sanderson, Brandon.
Absolutely stunning. It's amazing how perfectly it's wrapped up. A warning: this is the darkest book in the series. It's good, but it's adult/mature teen material. Definitely PG13.   posted Sep 16, 2010 at 2:32PM

Cover ArtThe well of ascension
by Sanderson, Brandon.
The second book in the Mistborn trilogy. Just as good as the first. I would point out, though, that the series gets darker as it goes along, and it's in the adult section for a reason (nothing R rated or explicit, just... dark). I guess most of the darkest stuff is in the last book, but here's a warning at least.   posted Sep 16, 2010 at 2:31PM

Cover ArtMistborn : the final empire
by Sanderson, Brandon.
You have NOT, and I mean NOT, read fantasy until you've read this series. Seriously. This is real, amazing, astounding fantasy and I totally recommend it.   posted Sep 16, 2010 at 2:29PM

Cover ArtSun and moon, ice and snow
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
A retelling of one of my favorite fairytales EVER - East of the sun and west of the moon. If you haven't read it, go look it up on Wikipedia or something, because it's awesome. And, a neat twist on the stereotypical fairytale, it's all about the maiden rescuing the prince. Just goes to prove - fairytales aren't anti-feminist.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 10:03PM

Cover ArtDragon slippers
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
I'm determined to believe that this is a retelling of Cinderella with some dragons and seamstresses and epicness thrown in there somewhere. So read it and then comment to say whether or not you agree with me.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 10:01PM

Cover ArtWaking Rose : a fairy tale retold
by Doman, Regina.
And now ROSE (the amazing, the epic, the hilarious, the romantic, the totally relateable, my fictional twin sister) gets her own book! But does she fall asleep for half of the book? Duh. You're going to have to read it to find out.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 10:00PM

Cover ArtBlack as night : a fairy tale retold
by Doman, Regina.
Retelling of Snow White. Just as awesome as its prequel. Follows the tale of the Briar sisters and their true loves - yes, this is just as good as any Disney fairytale. You heard me. Just. As. Good.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:58PM

Cover ArtThe shadow of the bear : a fairy tale retold
by Doman, Regina.
*fangirl squeal* I LOVE this book! *dances around waving the book in everyone's face* You must must must must MUST read this book! It's a retelling of Snow White and Rose Red set in modern NY and it is totally EPIC, dude!   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:56PM

Cover ArtThe Phoenix Dance
by Calhoun, Dia.
This is a retelling of Twelve Dancing Princesses. It's very creative and has a neat new twist to it - the main character isn't one of the princesses. *gasp* Yes, shocking.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:55PM

Cover ArtKeys to great writing
by Wilbers, Stephen, 1949-
Of course, if you want to learn to write, I'm sure that you want to learn to write well (unless you're a paperback romance novelist, in which case you're quite free to aspire to write crap). So please indulge in this book and learn to write great writing. The world will thank you.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:43PM

Cover ArtMake a scene : crafting a powerful story one scene at a time
by Rosenfeld, Jordan E., 1974-
Since a story is built up of many many many scenes, it's very important to learn how to write a scene. And if you read this book many many times, you'll be able to write many many scenes, and thus (hopefully) at least one book.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:41PM

Cover ArtHow not to write a novel : 200 classic mistakes and how to avoid them--a misstep
by Mittelmark, Howard
And equally important as learning how to write a novel, is learning how NOT to write a novel. Because if you know how not to write a novel, then you can reverse that information and deduce how TO write a novel. Which is why you were reading this book. (Note to innocent children and young manatees: there is a reason that this book is in the adult section. But, if you are determined to learn how not to write a novel, then I recommend you overlook a few particular words and skip a certain chapter that I also skipped.)   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:40PM

Cover ArtThe first five pages : a writer's guide to staying out of the rejection pile
by Lukeman, Noah.
If you should ever desire to be published, it's very important to keep your work out of the rejection pile, because there it will never be published, but will sit and decompose in utter grief, while you chew your fingernails and wish that you had read "The first five pages : a writer's guide to staying out of the rejection pile."   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:37PM

Cover ArtGet that novel written!
by Levin, Donna.
Sit down in your reading chair! Pull out the pompoms! And (afterwards) get that novel written!   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:35PM

Cover ArtOn writing : a memoir of the craft
by King, Stephen, 1947-
This was more of a memoir than actual instructions of how to write, but if you read carefully you'll be able to find a gem of knowledge here and there. And plus, it's really interesting. Which is always nice.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:34PM

Cover ArtSelf-editing for fiction writers : how to edit yourself into print
by Browne, Renni.
Ah, editing. Cue the cringe. But seriously, it is something that is extremely important. After all, you should always proofread carefully to see if you any words out   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:33PM

Cover ArtHow to write science fiction and fantasy
by Card, Orson Scott.
This is more of a guide to sci-fi than fantasy, but still super interesting.   posted Aug 24, 2010 at 9:30PM

Cover ArtThe best fall of all
by Godwin, Laura.
Believe you me. It was the BEST.   posted Aug 20, 2010 at 12:55PM

Cover ArtThe tenth city
by Carman, Patrick.
When I read this book, I was a little lost as to what was going on, which may have been because I was recently brainwashed by the NSPPC and an unexpected personality change resulted. Or it could have been because I didn't read the previous book. I don't remember.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 3:03PM

Cover ArtThe dark planet
by Carman, Patrick.
This is an awesome sequel to an awesome book and it has an awesome title. The Dark Planet. It only works if you say it with an English accent, though. The Dahk Plahnet. The Daaaahk Plaaaahnet. The Dahahahahak Plahahahanet.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:57PM

Cover ArtAria of the sea
by Calhoun, Dia.
The only reason I picked this book up was because the girl on the front cover had red hair and I am unnaturally biased against girls with red hair. In fact, I keep a special backpack thrown over my shoulder at all times so that if I see a red-head, I can throw a cupcake at her. (Sadly, they don't seem to appreciate this generosity) Anyway, I read the book, throwing a cupcake at the page whenever they mentioned the color red. Which wasn't often enough for my taste. So I just ate the cupcakes.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:54PM

Cover ArtThe Folk Keeper
by Billingsley, Franny, 1954-
"They were all teeth and wet mouth." Now then, let's step back a moment and wonder what the heck the author is talking about. She clearly must not mean the main character, because we all know that the main character is a girl and girls only have one mouth that is generally not overly wet or toothy. Since the girl is the Keeper, that leaves only two options. A) 'The' B) 'Folk' It clearly isn't the 'folk' because 'folk' are creepy, indescribable ghostly creatures that sit in people's cellars and eat their food and will kill them unless there's a Folk Keeper to keep them back. Therefore the quote at the beginning of my overly long comment must refer to 'The' and that makes no sense at all.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:50PM

Cover ArtHawksong
by Atwater-Rhodes, Amelia.
If you can think of anything (ANYTHING) more awesome than being able to shape-shift into a hawk, then you must be a ninja. If you are a ninja, please, please, please write me an autograph. You can leave it at the third tree opposite the stop sign to the left of Caribou Coffee (*narrowly avoids drooling at the thought of coffee*). If you aren't a ninja (you failure!), then just read the darn book.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:47PM

Cover ArtThe marvelous misadventures of Sebastian; grand extravaganza, including a perfor
by Alexander, Lloyd.
Even though the title unfortunately gets cut off just when it's getting good (see the book for the full title in all its awesomeness), the book continues after it starts to get good and after it reaches epic. In fact, it actually continues all the way to the end, unlike its unfortunate title.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:45PM

Cover ArtThe remarkable journey of Prince Jen
by Alexander, Lloyd.
Remarkable. And it has the sweetest love story ever, except for maybe Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, but those don't count because that goes without being said that Disney princesses trump all other wannabe love stories, though I wouldn't necessarily label this a wannabe love story, because it's actually quite remarkable.   posted Aug 14, 2010 at 2:43PM

Cover ArtThe rope trick
by Alexander, Lloyd.
Well, this book is pretty obviously good (haha, I typed 'food' accidentally) because I put it on this list and I won't stand for no lameo books here.   posted Jul 27, 2010 at 9:04AM

Cover ArtKeys to great writing
by Wilbers, Stephen, 1949-
This is a book that every writer should read at least once a month, if not each time before they sit down to write. But then no one would write. Except for the really dedicated people. And that might be for the better because it would cut out all the recycled garbage we end up with.   posted Jun 19, 2010 at 12:27PM

Cover ArtCalico Captive;
by Speare, Elizabeth George.
Ah. This was one of my favorite books. I haven't read it in a while, but that's only because I read it over and over and over when I first discovered it. It ought to be a classic. Except that I was always annoyed that she didn't marry that one dude, though it hardly matters because she gets enough proposals to stuff a pillow with.   posted Jun 15, 2010 at 8:53AM

Cover ArtThe witch of Blackbird Pond.
by Speare, Elizabeth George.
I liked this book. Though every time I saw the name 'Nat' I thought of gnats and how bothersome they are to see and to spell and I wondered why they didn't just leave the 'G' off of the front in the first place because it's so very tiresome to continue to forget it and be forced to add it by irate teachers wearing rubber gloves and steel magnolias.   posted Jun 15, 2010 at 8:51AM

Cover ArtWizard's hall
by Yolen, Jane.
It was good. Rather short. I've heard that it's pretty much Harry Potter minus a trillion gazillion pages. Of course it is rather odd that it was published before Harry Potter. Very odd. *suspicious eyebrow wiggle*   posted Jun 15, 2010 at 8:47AM

Cover ArtThe thief
by Turner, Megan Whalen.
I finally realized that my book list is alphabetized and that is the reason that this book is at the bottom. It was causing many a sleepless night as I turned over the various possibilities and situations that might cause this book (and its sequels) to end up down here. I now recognize that just because a book is at the bottom of a list, that doesn't say anything about its quality. So if a book of yours ever ends up at the bottom of some list, before plunging into the depths of despair, please check if your last name starts with 'Z'   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:34PM

Cover ArtDragon flight
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
Once again, I have been sadly deceived by the title of a book. Being in a tight situation, I was hoping that this book might detail just how I could fashion a saddle on the local dragon before the NSPPC could launch their attack, and I was surprise (and a little distressed) to find that it was instead the sequel to a book that I had enjoyed. I read the book swiftly and then fled the scene on the back of my purple llama.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:15PM

Cover ArtThe Thief Lord
by Funke, Cornelia Caroline.
My dearest colleague was convinced that children's literature was taking a great dive for the worse and he was quite insistent that this book was a handmanual on how to pickpocket those around you, so I read it to prove him wrong. I ended up proving him wrong. I also ended up enjoying the book, thus the reason that I risk discovery and creep out of hiding for just long enough to review this book.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:12PM

Cover ArtAirman
by Colfer, Eoin.
Nahnahnahnah nahnahnahnah... AIRMAN!!!!!! Ok, ok, so it sounds a lot like batman (cue the theme song music), but it's really great, etc., etc., and I recommend it and I've always wanted to go up in an air balloon and watch the clouds go by and smell the sweet, warm breeze, and hear the splash of waves below me and thus escape from the clutches of those who are hunting me.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:10PM

Cover ArtPeter and the shadow thieves
by Barry, Dave.
If you've read this, then kudos for you. And for Mr. Dave Barry. And I would add more, but the National Society for the Pursuit and Persecution of Critics is hot on my trail and I must flee the scene.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:09PM

Cover ArtThe city of Ember
by DuPrau, Jeanne.
I read this on a dark and stormy night while I was crouched in my burrow beneath the bare, flickering light bulb that strangely resembled the light bulb on the front cover of this book. I would have read it cover to cover without stopping, except for the fact that I had to change positions in my underground labyrinth every seven minutes for fear that the National Society for Pursuit and Persecution of Critics might find me and imprison me in a vat of strawberry marmalade.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:05PM

Cover ArtPeter and the Starcatchers [sound recording]
by Barry, Dave.
I find sound recordings to be unnaturally biased, because deaf people can't listen to them. On a completely different note, the book was enjoyable. And on a completely otherly different note, waffles with ketchup are not enjoyable in most circumstances and social backgrounds.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 5:00PM

Cover ArtThe magic half
by Barrows, Annie.
I'll have to admit that I was originally not going to read this because it looked far too immature and juvenile for my outstanding reputation. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I am not as mature as I believed myself to be and thus I read and enjoyed this book and now advise you to do the same.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:58PM

Cover ArtThe fellowship of the ring
by Tolkien, J. R. R. 1892-1973.
If you haven't yet read this book, then you are clearly not a fantasy reader, in which case you should not be reading my book list on fantasy books, in which case I advise you to run before I contact the library and convince them to send out their ninja assassin team to knock some sense into you.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:56PM

Cover ArtWren's war
by Smith, Sherwood.
The alliteration was enough to make me read it. And it should be enough for you too. So I won't say anything more beyond this point. Almost.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:54PM

Cover ArtDragon slippers
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
So, I began reading it in the hopes that it would detail the mysterious process of the ancient Egyptians' method of slippering on the backs of dragons, but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was about a young seamstress named Creel and her many adventures. I finished the first chapter and was hooked as surely as if one of my brother had cast their fishing pole wrong and it had gotten stuck in my arm and yanked me under water to kowtow with the fishes. I read it all the way through without drowning. So I now recommend this book to you, oh faceless reader of my reviews. However, I still know nothing of the ancient Egyptians' methods of slippering on the backs of dragons.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:52PM

Cover ArtEast
by Pattou, Edith.
I found the book very interesting. And unique. Charming. Facinating. Intriguing. Hallucinating. (On a side note, if you noticed that I spell 'fascinating' wrong, two points for you, my friend.)   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:47PM

Cover ArtUnwind
by Shusterman, Neal.
Ok. This was just creepy, but that didn't stop me from adding to this book list, I guess, so it must be perfectly good to read. HOWEVER - drat. Lost my train of thought. It's somewhere in the Siberian Steppes, I believe. My train of thought, that is - not the purple llama.   posted Jun 10, 2010 at 4:44PM

Cover ArtThe two princesses of Bamarre
by Levine, Gail Carson.
The only problem I had was the title. 'Ba-mar-ee' 'bam-ar-ae' 'bam-oor-ee' Why do fantasy authors think that it's SSSOOO cool to have unpronounceable words. Newsflash people: it's dumb.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:57PM

Cover ArtPrincess of the Midnight Ball
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
Retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses. And there's a soldier who's totally awesome and he KNITS. Ha, it's amazing. He makes scarves, and shawls, and little lacy dollies for the tables, and it's SO totally romantic. Well, scratch the dollies, cause I don't think he's found a pattern for those yet. But he's still awesome. And he has a KNITTING NEEDLES (ok, ok, and a sword too, but nvm that, it's ssssooo clique)   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:56PM

Cover ArtBlack
by Dekker, Ted, 1962-
Blackmail, dreams, viruses, alternate worlds, and fuzzy white bats. Yeah, baby. Welcome to the Circle Trilogy. Prepare to be totally thrillered.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:54PM

Cover ArtThe Dark Hills divide
by Carman, Patrick.
Be not afraid. This book is not about long division *shudder* or multiplication or the sine and tangent or anything pertaining to torture in general. But it does have to do with certain stones that allow you to talk to animals, and even though I'm not an animal person (does anyone LIKE having stinking dog fur on their hand and clothing and furniture??) I enjoyed the book. Mostly because there were very few dogs.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:47PM

Cover ArtThe beggar queen
by Alexander, Lloyd.
The conclusion in the Westmark Trilogy. Once you're done with this, you can stop throwing books in the fire and loving them to pieces and can finally relax, sobbing in your bed partially because you have nothing more to look forward to and partly because your banana-cream smoothie spilled on your favorite Sponge Bob sheets.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:44PM

Cover ArtThe Kestrel
by Alexander, Lloyd.
This is tragic. I was really mad about a couple of things, but I couldn't stay mad very long, because I LOVED it to pieces and pieces and then picked up the pieces and spent the next month paying late fees while I glued each piece back together and then finally returned it in the moments before the library was about to send their ninja assassin team out to retrieve the book.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:43PM

Cover ArtWestmark
by Alexander, Lloyd.
I recommend that you don't read this unless you like to laugh and cry and throw books across the room into the fireplace and then dash over and snatch the book out and put out the fire and call the library and apologize for the scorch marks all over the front cover.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:41PM

Cover ArtEnder's game
by Card, Orson Scott.
I'm not really into science fiction, but it was only after I read this book that I discovered that it was sci-fi, so I think I'm excused. Well, it's the best sci-fi novel, I've read in a long time. And 'in a long time' means 'since-the-last-fan-fiction-Star-Wars-novel-I-read-which-was-a-while-ago,-because-I-got-fed-up-with-the-fact-that-no-one-could-kill-Darth-Vader-with-whom-I-do-not-sympathize-at-all"   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:37PM

Cover ArtThe iron ring
by Alexander, Lloyd.
EPIC. Need I say more? EPIC, dude, totally EPIC. Someone must make a movie of this, and they are quite welcome to cast me as a starring roll, preferably according to my gender, but I don't really mind either way.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:34PM

Cover ArtEnna burning
by Hale, Shannon.
After reading this, I felt my inner pyromaniac rise up and tell me very politely that I really should burn something. Actually, that was halfway through the book. So while I read, I absentmindedly lit matches and flicked them into the abyss before me and I was so absorbed in the book that I didn't even notice that my blue and red spangled lawn chair was burning. It was unfortunate, but dear reader, learn from my mistakes and don't flick matches into an abyss while sitting on a spangled lawn chair. It's tempting, I know.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:31PM

Cover ArtThe goose girl
by Hale, Shannon.
Loveth it to pieceseth. And pieceseth and pieceseth. Because it was wonderificalishmousiness. And splendasticifant. And you musteth readeth this facinaperfeabulous book. Why? Because I said so. Amen. Hallelujah.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:28PM

Cover ArtPrincess Academy
by Hale, Shannon.
Ok, so I took off my old comment because it was lame. Heck, it's called 'Princess Academy' so no boy in his right mind is gonna read it unless he's forced. So HA! to all you lamo boys, because you're missing out. So HA! HA! HHHAAA!   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:23PM

Cover ArtTears of a dragon
by Davis, Bryan, 1958-
Ok, so this song reminds me of this song called 'Cry Love' that my brothers used to play all the time and it was by John Hiatt and the chorus has something to do with 'tears of an angel, tears of a dove' etc. etc. and it was a rock song and it was lame. OK. Just needed to get that off my chest. Now, this is a great book that you must read, after you've read the three books that came before it. (Note the little number four in the top left corner)   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:20PM

Cover ArtAirman
by Colfer, Eoin.
Nahnahnahnah nahnahnahnah... AIRMAN!!!!!! Ok, ok, so it sounds a lot like batman (cue the theme song music), but it's really great, etc., etc., and I recommend it and I've always wanted to go up in an air balloon and watch the clouds go by and smell the sweet, warm breeze, and hear the splash of waves below me...   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:18PM

Cover ArtThe Looking Glass Wars
by Beddor, Frank.
Alrighty. Time to roll up my sleeves and give my blunt opinion. But then, am I ever known not to give blunt opinions? And if it's a real opinion, wouldn't it be blunt? nvm ANYHOW, even though it's an NYT best seller and confetti and yay for that, I found the style REALLY hard to get through and the characters weren't realistic. Seven-year-olds don't act like that. I should know, having a bazillion seven-year-olds in my house who are at this moment all clamoring for me to give them mack-and-cheese with BBQ sauce.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:15PM

Cover ArtGypsy Rizka
by Alexander, Lloyd.
This book is witty just like all of Lloyd Alexander's books. And the title... jeeze, I could say it over and over and over. It's so much fun. Gypsy Rizka. Gypsy Rizka. Or try saying it with an accent. Scottish. English. Norwegian. *throws confetti* It's like a PAR-TAY! ... almost.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:12PM

Cover ArtThe impossible journey
by Whelan, Gloria.
Give me a half an hour and I'll come up with a more amusing comment, but as it is, my younger siblings are yelling for me to come and change my youngest brother's you-know-what and you probably didn't even want to know.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 1:00PM

Cover ArtThe turning
by Whelan, Gloria.
There is an absolutely beautiful song in Les Mis that is called 'The Turning' and it's right after *SPOILER* Javert dies *END OF SPOILER* and Marius gets hauled out of the sewer by Jean Valjean and all the women come out and sing it and they probably dance too, but I've never actually seen the play, just listened to the musical over and over and over. Anyway, this book has nothing to do with that song. This takes place in Russia, while Les Mis is in France. Though what's-her-name does travel to France. And she dances. And she's the great-niece/grand-granddaughter/distant relative removed a few times of the main character in "Angel in the Square".   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 12:58PM

Cover ArtHomeless bird
by Whelan, Gloria.
I find the title rather misleading. There weren't really any birds. Just girls. And, let me tell you, the girls wouldn't have been homeless had people just spelled words like they sounded instead of using the stinking 'ph's and 'wr's and 'ck's.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 12:54PM

Cover ArtChu Ju's house
by Whelan, Gloria.
I'll admit that I enjoyed this book. The one hold-back was that I had a very difficult time pronouncing the main character's name. 'Choo joo'? 'Choo you'? 'Chow joo'? 'Chow you'? 'Spandex'? Mind boggling, I tell you. Needless to say, I've never been very good at pronouncing words. Personally, I think that if everything was spelled like it sounded, the world would be a better place and no one would be homeless. Not even Chu Ju. ('Choo joo'? 'Choo you'? 'Chow joo'? 'Chow you'?)   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 12:51PM

Cover ArtAngel on the square
by Whelan, Gloria.
It is my personal theory that an angel squared equals a saint, and a saint squared equals two saints, and a devil squared equals a very large annoying grubworm with big teeth that just slightly resemble revolving table saws, but that's only my opinion and has little to do with this wonderful book. This wonderful book is about many things, but I think that Ms. Whelan made a mistake when she forgot to include special deluxe revolving table saws. And pancakes.   posted Jun 9, 2010 at 12:47PM

Cover ArtTuck everlasting
by Babbitt, Natalie.
If you could, would you live forever? I mean, really. Forever. Always the same age. Have you ever wondered what forever is like? Forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever and repeat a bazillion times x pi. Would you choose to live forever (and ever and ever and ever etc)? Or would you be smart? Or stupid, or whichever you want to call it.   posted May 26, 2010 at 11:57AM

Cover ArtFever, 1793
by Anderson, Laurie Halse.
If you don't know what yellow fever is, then you probably haven't caught it and thus are probably still alive which is good, because I don't want any dead people reading my reviews. I won't stand for it. But, if you don't know what yellow fever is, then you probably haven't read this awesome book which means that you probably should read this awesome book that's true except it's not true, which makes it fiction.   posted May 26, 2010 at 11:54AM

Cover ArtSeize the story : a handbook for teens who like to write
by Hanley, Victoria.
Very informative.   posted May 26, 2010 at 8:38AM

Cover ArtWriting magic : creating stories that fly
by Levine, Gail Carson.
Great book on writing and hey! it's by a someone who actually succeeded in writing, so you know it's gotta work.   posted May 26, 2010 at 8:36AM

Cover ArtAvielle of Rhia
by Calhoun, Dia.
A sort of hereditary magic that everyone thinks is evil. But is it? Well, since I asked that question we can clearly see that it must not be. But I shouldn't say that because that would spoil something that we all know anyhow from reading the back of the book. So I'll just shut up now.   posted May 25, 2010 at 6:32PM

Cover ArtThe Looking Glass Wars
by Beddor, Frank.
If you can imagine it, it's there! And if you're of royal blood. And if you get a moment to try imagining which could be hard since your aunt is currently trying to murder you.   posted May 25, 2010 at 6:31PM

Cover ArtThe magic half
by Barrows, Annie.
Miri finds a way to get back in time. Interesting. And it has something to do with her glasses. Which are now broken. Which is a problem.   posted May 25, 2010 at 6:30PM

Cover ArtThe Arkadians
by Alexander, Lloyd.
This has a sort of 'convincing' magic. Joy-in-the-Dance can convince people that something is happening when it really isn't. Such as their bread is one fire. Or it's raining frogs. Actually not the frogs. But she could if she wanted to. And that's the point.   posted May 25, 2010 at 6:28PM

Cover ArtHouse
by Peretti, Frank E.
Haunted house. Don't read in the middle of the night. And especially not if there's a graveyard underneath your house. And do NOT - oh dang. This probably would have fit better in my 'Good Fantasy' booklist. Good grief, my life stinks. Now I'll have to revise everything. *mumble mumble*   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:49PM

Cover ArtWhen Hitler stole pink rabbit.
by Kerr, Judith.
This is the story of how the big bad rabbit was stolen by the bigger badder man. And it's also somewhat about a little girl and WWII. And pink rabbits. And an aunt with a yipy little dog like the ones down the street that our neighbors own and then whenever the dogs yipe, the old lady comes out on the front step and screams, "SHUDDUP!" at them.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:45PM

Cover ArtThe bronze bow.
by Speare, Elizabeth George.
Did you know that there were cults back in 25A.D.? Well, this book is not about them. No, no, no, it's about a blacksmith and his donkey. Yes, and Karlisle. *sigh* Sweet, sweet, Karlisle. No. Wait. That's a different book. Dang. Anyhow, this IS about cults in 25 AD, I guess. And a crazy sister (crazy as in nuts). And a cult.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:42PM

Cover ArtUncle Tom's Cabin
by Stowe, Harriet Beecher, 1811-1896.
Topsy... *sobs* No, that was not a spoiler. Or maybe it was. Eveline *sobs* That wasn't a spoiler either. Uncle Tom........ *sobs harder* Ok, I guess I can't review this book. You're just going to have to read it for yourself, I guess. *sobs*   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:39PM

Cover ArtThe winged watchman
by Van Stockum, Hilda, 1908-2006.
Welcome to Holland in the midst of WWII. No food, no clothing, no people. Er, scratch that. There were people and they did wear clothing and there was food - just not a ton of it. Oh yeah, and there were also Nazis who were out to get all the people hidden in your house. And there was also an Allied solder who you were hiding. And there was also a dog. And believe me, the dog will rock your little world. Andalsothere'sthisboynamedJoris.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:37PM

Cover ArtThe scarlet Pimpernel
by Orczy, Emmuska Orczy, Baroness, 1865-1947.
If you like guillotines, screaming mobs, an unbearably handsome husband, and high society England, then this book is for you! Especially if you are attracted even slightly to balls, intrigue, a masked hero, and a villainous villain. NOTE: Screaming mob may not be included. Pizza (TM) is not required to supply or procure a screaming mob to please angry readers. Pizza did not write this book. He/she only enjoyed it.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:35PM

Cover ArtMara, daughter of the Nile
by McGraw, Eloise Jarvis.
So what if you were a slave and someone hires you to spy on a king. You would get fancy clothing, good treatment, and enough food for once. Your answer: heck yeah! Well, what if someone else hired you at the same time to spy on someone else. Great. Twice the money. Play double agent for a while and stick with the winning side. But what if you fell in love with one of your masters? Hopelessly, truly, and deeply in love? It creates a problem. Just a leetle tiny one. You can handle this. Right?   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:30PM

Cover ArtLes miserables
by Hugo, Victor, 1802-1885.
The title says it all. But it's a classic. And it's really interesting. And as a bonus, you get to look like the ultimate nerd as you lug a 2,000+ page book around. Just what you always wanted. But it is really good. No kidding there. And the musical is even better. But I digress.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:28PM

Cover ArtShadow spinner
by Fletcher, Susan, 1951-
A different look at Arabian Nights. Fascinating. And that wasn't even sarcasm.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:26PM

Cover ArtA tale of two cities
by Dickens, Charles, 1812-1870.
It's by Dickens. Crawl out of the hole that you're living in and read it already.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:25PM

Cover ArtThr3e
by Dekker, Ted, 1962-
What if a terrorist phoned you and threatened to blow your car to kingdom come if you didn't solve a riddle for him. Oh yeah, and you're in the car. Oh, and you only have three minutes. Have fun!   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:24PM

Cover ArtFather Brown : the essential tales
by Chesterton, G. K. 1874-1936.
It's awesome, it's clever, and hey! it's a little fat man who solves mysteries. Can it get better?   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:23PM

Cover ArtForgotten fire
by Bagdasarian, Adam.
A leetle rough. It's in the pit of despair *cough* I mean the teen section for a reason. But it's a good portrayal of WWI. Or WWII. I forget which.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:22PM

Cover ArtPride and prejudice
by Austen, Jane, 1775-1817.
Forget the vampires (and zombies!) this is the best romance you're gonna get. Face it.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:21PM

Cover ArtLittle women
by Alcott, Louisa May, 1832-1888.
Little Women - duh. Classic of all time. If you haven't read it, then you've live in a hole all your life.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:21PM

Cover ArtThe golden goblet.
Takes place in Egypt. The story of a boy who wants to be a gold smith, but first must escape the clutches of his abusive brother.   posted May 25, 2010 at 3:20PM

Cover ArtThe red pyramid
by Rick Riordan
It was good, enjoyable. But I thought that the main characters lacked the drive and appeal of Percy Jackson. And also, the side characters weren’t as unique and hilarious as those in Riorden’s former series. It was good, but I think that the only reason there are a bazillion holds on the book is because of Percy Jackson’s popularity - something which The Red Pyramid is not going to be able to compete with.   posted May 21, 2010 at 8:39AM

Cover ArtLittle Red Riding Hood
by Evetts-Secker, Josephine.
The drama... by the time I got to the end, I was sobbing with pure emotion. All of the pages got soppy and the ink ran together, and I had a heck of a time trying to return it without having to pay for the darned book, because while it was totally amazing, it wasn’t worth paying money to return it instead of paying money and not returning it, and then I’d be able to sob over it every night and cry myself to sleep while dreaming of my nonexistent prince charming who has yet to make an entrance in the great drama of my life.   posted Apr 30, 2010 at 11:21PM

Cover ArtInkdeath
by Cornelia Funke
So... if you’re looking to be bored to tears, I would totally recommend this book. Especially if you like it when the main character’s daddy becomes the main character. Oh and also if you like it when the main character unfalls in love with an arabian kid and refalls in love with a dork. So, yep. This book is for YOU.   posted Apr 24, 2010 at 12:54PM

Cover ArtThe sea of monsters
by Rick Riordan
*laughs hysterically* Yup. What they said. Except there was this dude named something that I forgot and I can’t remember it.   posted Apr 24, 2010 at 12:48PM

Cover ArtThe book of three.
by Lloyd Alexander
One of the best books ever!!! The characters are real and the plot works. It’s written in an older style that flows beautifully xD   posted Mar 22, 2010 at 7:03PM

Cover ArtThe gingerbread boy [multimedia]
by Galdone, Paul.
Oh man. The bonus track ’The Teeny, Weeny Woman’ just got me right there, you know. I was, like, bawling. It was kind of embarrassing, you know, ’cause I was in a public place and all.   posted Feb 9, 2010 at 1:07PM

Cover ArtPrincess Academy
by Hale, Shannon.
When it is decided that the prince's wife will be selected from a small mountain village, jealousy and rivalry erupt among the girls. Miri has to decide what is more important - becoming the next princess, or keeping her friendships.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:08PM

Cover ArtThe two princesses of Bamarre
by Levine, Gail Carson.
A timid princess must face her worst fears to find the cure for her sister, who suffers from a fatal illness.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:08PM

Cover ArtThe goose girl
by Hale, Shannon.
A retelling of the fairytale 'Goose Girl'. Princess Ani can speak to the wind and to animals, but she is too quiet to stand up to her lady-in-waiting who wants to be queen and will do anything, and kill anyone, to gain her dream.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:07PM

Cover ArtBlack
by Dekker, Ted, 1962-
Tom Hunter is running away from his debtors. A bullet grazes his head and he blacks out. When he awakes, he is in a different world, a place that is completely innocent. From this moment on, every time he goes to sleep in one world he wakes in the other. In our world, a company is trying to blackmail the world by releasing a deadly virus that only Thomas knows about. In the other world, Thomas finds out they have 'books of history', books which detail the future of our world.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:06PM

Cover ArtThe thief
by Turner, Megan Whalen.
It's the story of a thief, who after being caught at stealing, is forced to steal something of great importance from a neighboring country. But Gen has a few tricks up his own sleeve...   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:04PM

Cover ArtThe iron ring
by Alexander, Lloyd.
The story of a young man, Tamar, who sets out on a quest to find the man who enslaved him in Tamar's dream. Along the way, he discovers a willful cow-herder, a monkey who claims he is a prince, and a small red gem that may govern the fate of his county.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:03PM

Cover ArtPrincess of the Midnight Ball
by George, Jessica Day, 1976-
Retelling of the Twelve Dancing Princesses. Rose, the oldest, struggles to take care of her younger sisters while every night they are forced to dance for the goblin king. A soldier offers his help, but can he, can anyone be trusted?   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:02PM

Cover ArtThe Dark Hills divide
by Carman, Patrick.
Alexa Daily has found a stone that allows her to speak with animals. But there are dangers growing closer from outside the walls that surround her city, and she will need all the help she can get to stay alive.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 2:00PM

Cover ArtThe beggar queen
by Alexander, Lloyd.
The conclusion in the Westmark Trilogy, Theo and Mickle are fighting for the throne against rebels, invading soldiers, and their own memories.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 1:55PM

Cover ArtThe Kestrel
by Alexander, Lloyd.
Theo is now the Kestrel, the rebel leader against the monarchy and invading troops. He struggles between his love for Queen Augusta and his love for his country, while he battles to defeat his own doubts   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 1:52PM

Cover ArtWestmark
by Alexander, Lloyd.
A book about a boy, Theo, who's being hunted by the law. He meets up with a conman, a street scamp, and a dwarf, while he tries to avoid arrest.   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 1:51PM

Cover ArtWestmark
by Alexander, Lloyd.
This is a great book about a boy named Theo who is being hunted by the law after resisting the closure of his printing shop. He meets up with a collection of interesting characters including a conman, a street scamp, and a dwarf. It’s really well written and has a great plot!   posted Jan 9, 2010 at 1:48PM

Cover ArtBrisingr, or, The seven promises of Eragon Shadeslayer and Saphira Bjartskular
by Christopher Paolini
I enjoyed... the part... when... oh yeah, the part when Murtag finally came on stage. But then he left and we descended into dwarvin politics and Roran got beat up for some stupid reason and Nasuada tried to cut off her arm and Eragon decided that maybe he could eat meat after all. Yay for him! I got the feeling that 90% of the book was stuck in there because the author needed more stuff to happen.   posted Nov 23, 2009 at 11:53AM

Cover ArtEldest
by Christopher Paolini
I fell asleep somewhere in the middle when Eragon was writhing on the floor in convulsions while bemoaning the fact that he had killed an ant and Roran was still keeping track of how many people he killed while obsessing over Katerina =P COME ON. This was boring and so cliche.   posted Nov 23, 2009 at 11:48AM

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