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The kids' guide to working out conflicts : how to keep cool, stay safe, and get
Drew, Naomi.
Children's Fiction 303.69083 D
Drew, Naomi.
Children's Fiction 303.69083 D
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| Contents | Page |
|---|---|
| Introduction: How This Book Can Help You | p. 1 |
| Step 1 - Open Your Mind | p. 6 |
| What Starts a Conflict? What Makes It Grow? | p. 7 |
| Conflict Triggers | p. 8 |
| Willingness Lets You Put the Brakes on Conflict | p. 11 |
| What Happens When You're NOT Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | p. 12 |
| What Are Your Willingness Blocks? | p. 13 |
| What Happens When You ARE Willing to Work Out Conflicts? | p. 15 |
| Basement or Balcony--Your Choice | p. 16 |
| Step 2 - Decide to Become a Conflict Solver | p. 20 |
| What Conflict Makers Do | p. 20 |
| What Conflict Solvers Do | p. 22 |
| Where Do You Stand? | p. 23 |
| When the Other Person Isn't Willing | p. 25 |
| Fake It Till You Make It | p. 26 |
| Team Earth Needs Your Help | p. 27 |
| "Yes, But" Questions | p. 28 |
| What to Do When Your Friends Have Conflicts | p. 33 |
| Are You Ready to Be a Conflict Solver? | p. 34 |
| Step 3 - Become a Better Listener | p. 36 |
| NOT Listening Fuels Conflicts | p. 37 |
| Listening Is Your Path to Personal Power | p. 37 |
| Check Out Your Listening | p. 39 |
| Try the Bad Listening/Good Listening Game | p. 41 |
| Listen So You Really Understand: Reflective Listening | p. 43 |
| Play the "Sounds Like ..." Game | p. 45 |
| Using Reflective Listening When There's a Conflict: Two Examples | p. 47 |
| Good Listening Builds Good Relationships | p. 49 |
| Step 4 - Use Win/Win Guidelines | p. 50 |
| 1. - Cool off | p. 52 |
| 2. - Talk the problem over using I-messages | p. 52 |
| 3. - Listen while the other person speaks, and say back what you heard | p. 56 |
| 4. - Take responsibility for your part in the conflict | p. 57 |
| 5. - Brainstorm solutions and choose one that's fair to both of you | p. 60 |
| 6. - Affirm, forgive, thank, or apologize to each other | p. 62 |
| Putting It All Together | p. 63 |
| "Yes, But" Questions | p. 65 |
| Be a Role Model | p. 67 |
| Step 5 - Manage Your Anger and Gain Control | p. 68 |
| What Are Your Anger Pitfalls? | p. 68 |
| Why Do So Many People Have Trouble Managing Anger? | p. 69 |
| Three Secrets to Getting a Handle on Anger | p. 70 |
| Decide Not to Get Hooked | p. 75 |
| Make Yourself Zinger-Proof | p. 77 |
| Protect Yourself from Other People's Angry Vibes | p. 80 |
| When Anger Leads to Physical Fighting | p. 81 |
| Take Control | p. 83 |
| Step 6 - Learn to Manage Stress and Stay Calm, Cool, and Confident | p. 84 |
| Do You Know Your Stress Signals? | p. 86 |
| What's on Your Mind? Find the Calm Confidence Within You | p. 88 |
| More Ways to Stay Calm and Cool | p. 92 |
| De-Stress with Yoga and Meditation | p. 95 |
| Choose Calmness | p. 98 |
| Step 7 - Be Smart About Bullying | p. 99 |
| Teasing versus Bullying: What's the Difference? | p. 100 |
| Eight Ways to Stop Teasing | p. 102 |
| Why Do People Bully? Is It Really Such a Big Problem? | p. 104 |
| Self-Check: Are You Bullying or Harassing Anyone? | p. 105 |
| What to Do If You've Bullied Others | p. 106 |
| What to Do If Someone Is Bullying You | p. 108 |
| "Yes, But" Questions | p. 113 |
| Bullying and Sexual Harassment | p. 115 |
| Choose to Be a Peacemaker | p. 117 |
| Step 8 - Build Yourself Up from the Inside Out | p. 118 |
| Follow a Day-by-Day Plan | p. 118 |
| Strengthen Your Courage Muscle | p. 119 |
| Strengthen Your Forgiveness Muscle | p. 121 |
| Observe Yourself | p. 123 |
| Observe Others | p. 124 |
| Believe in Yourself | p. 125 |
| Resources for You | p. 134 |
| Working Out Conflicts Survey | p. 137 |
| References | p. 139 |
| Index | p. 141 |
| About the Author | p. 146 |
| List of Reproducible Pages | |
| My Conflict Triggers | p. 19 |
| Conflict Log | p. 35 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 1 | p. 127 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 2 | p. 128 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 3 | p. 129 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 4 | p. 130 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 5 | p. 131 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 6 | p. 132 |
| Conflict Solver's Action Plan: Day 7 | p. 133 |
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